“Look on my right hand and see, for there is no one who acknowledges me;
refuge has failed me; no one cares for my soul.”
(Ps 142:4, NKJV)
In preparation of writing this teaching I widely researched the topic, making references to at least thirty books, all of which contributed little to my search. No one could even remotely attempt to describe what I have birthing in my spirit. It is not a theme that one can cleverly theorize, neatly presented for your perusal – it touches on the being of who you are.
Within the greater context of the theme we are currently exploring it is important to understand its extent – why did Christ have to die in the first place? To understand this it is necessary for you to literally be drawn to Him, and this can only happen if the Holy Spirit convinces you of your sin and lost state, and your deep subconscious desire for salvation. If you have not come to an understanding of your own sin and fallenness and hence of the whole world’s broken state of existence you cannot grasp Christ’s acquittal. Only those who are drowning grab onto the lifejacket.
As young reader exploring William Golding’s Lord of the flies I was confronted with a group of boys as ordinary as I, and experienced how they came to embody something I had long suspected of being nestled within myself, that of undiluted evil. Satan was no longer a childhood caricature who dragged you to hell – he now had a face, that of a grown man engaging in evil deeds with little boys. He was no longer only that which hid in the dark passageway, but also that which hid in the eyes of black underfed little children staring from magazines on the newsstand. He was present in almost every article in the newspaper. He was everywhere; he was legion (Mark 5:9). It is clear that– “all flesh had corrupted their way” (Gen 6:12). Up until that point I had sung Psalm 130 without truly understanding it – “Out of the depths I have cried to You, O LORD; Lord, hear my voice! Let Your ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications.”
But with time I would come to realize that evil was nestled within us all, encompassing everything and sowing discord everywhere – no longer just a dark personified figure lurking in a troubled world. This dark presence is smeared across the world, detected in events such as the slaughter of Jews in Auschwitz bringing home this notion of “having no hope”, living “without God in the world.” (Eph 2:12). I understood the enormous emotional despair the word nihilism encapsulates, even though I would only later learn that the dictionary defines it as “embracing a state of nothingness”. All contains the intense stench of death.
- Sela: Come to an understanding of Ps 142:4 in your spiritual subconscious.
- Read: 2 Chr 34; Job 33; Isa 14 (see God’s single-handed synchronization of the relevant reading sections!)
- Memorise: Isa 14:29b
- For a deeper understanding: Read Frank E. Peretti’s Piercing the darkness.
