“You could have no power at all … unless it had been given you from above.” (John 19:11, NKJV)
There are various figures in the Bible that clearly display a profile of narcissism. Let us have a look at three explicit narcissists: Goliath, Nabal and Nebuchadnezzar. In the next teaching we will look at some of the other, less well-known figures.
Goliath, the frighteningly large and strong Philistine soldier (Deut. 2:21), was not someone to ignore – in physical terms he was particularly impressive: “And a champion went out from the camp of the Philistines, named Goliath, from Gath, whose height was six cubits and a span. He had a bronze helmet on his head, and he was armed with a coat of mail, and the weight of the coat was five thousand shekels of bronze. And he had bronze armor on his legs and a bronze javelin between his shoulders. Now the staff of his spear was like a weaver’s beam, and his iron spearhead weighed six hundred shekels; and a shield-bearer went before him.” (1 Sam. 17:4-7). This giant was almost eleven feet tall, and his self-importance can clearly be seen in the following statement: “Then he stood and cried out to the armies of Israel, and said to them, ‘Why have you come out to line up for battle? Am I not a Philistine, and you the servants of Saul? Choose a man for yourselves, and let him come down to me. If he is able to fight with me and kill me, then we will be your servants. But if I prevail against him and kill him, then you shall be our servants and serve us.’”
Interestingly enough the name Goliath means “splendour” (Brown-Driver-Briggs’ Hebrew Definitions), as people suffering from narcissism often do have special abilities and/or external attributes and/or have achieved success on some or other level. Often they did not receive enough recognition for this, or they suffered through ambition that was not achieved (especially coming from parents trying to live their own dreams through their children). Or the special ability or attribute has been absolutised as the only thing that gives them any worth. Goliath was someone who literally stood head and shoulders above everyone else, and this brought him a sense of never failing, which led to his death. Narcissists often use this special ability or attribute against others.
Nabal’s story is found in 1 Sam. 25: “The name of the man was Nabal, and the name of his wife Abigail. And she was a woman of good understanding and beautiful appearance; but the man was harsh and evil in his doings. He was of the house of Caleb … Now therefore, know and consider what you will do, for harm is determined against our master and against all his household. For he is such a scoundrel that one cannot speak to him … Please, let not my lord regard this scoundrel Nabal. For as his name is, so is he: Nabal is his name, and folly is with him! But I, your maidservant, did not see the young men of my lord whom you sent … So it was, in the morning, when the wine had gone from Nabal, and his wife had told him these things, that his heart died within him, and he became like a stone.” (Verses 3, 17, 25 and 37).
The NLT states that Nabal was “dishonest in all his dealings”, and Rotherham’s states that he was “unfeeling”. David quickly discerned his true character, and Nabal’s wife knew what he looked like when the mask was taken off, “harsh and evil”, and that his name was an apt description of him: a fool.
Narcissists often choose as their friends or life partners people who are successful or highly visible, people who stand out in a crowd, and then enter into co-dependant relationships with them. Abigail is an extraordinary woman, beautiful and intelligent, and these are characteristics the narcissist can use well, as it reflects positively on him. She was also able to cover him when his mask was lifted. Over time the other person/partner becomes a mere crutch for the sociopath’s desire for the recognition of others. He/she will thus often tell the other person how they should dress, act, or what they should or should not say.
A long-term relationship with a narcissist thus always breaks down the other party’s self image, or attempts to make the other person feel inferior. Children of narcissists have problems of their own – read for instance Nina W. Brown’s book Children of the Self Absorbed, or Elan Golomb’s excellent book Trapped in the Mirror: Adult Children of Narcissists in their Struggle for Self.
It is becoming clearer that counselling and deliverance should much rather be offered to the victims of these types of relationships, and not to the narcissist himself.
A third example of a Biblical figure is king Nebuchadnezzar, of whom we read in the books of Daniel and Jeremiah. These books are littered with this king’s conceit (look at Dan. 1:10; 2:5; 3:1-4, for instance). The golden image he makes of himself is perhaps one of the most beautifully iconic examples of self-elevation in history. And if you didn’t fall down before the image and worship it, you were thrown into the burning furnace (Dan. 3:5-6). Nebuchadnezzar’s behaviour following this (as is seen in chapter 4) is equally radical and categorical, typical of narcissistic personalities, and speaks of pride, cruelty, nonchalance and disobedience to God. The narcissistic person has an iron will, and will do everything in his/her ability, especially through subtle manipulation, to have their way.
I often found that narcissists, like Nebuchadnezzar, only come to their senses once they are faced with an enormous crisis. This is always preceded by pertinent warnings from God. When the person subsists in his disobedience God allows a huge crisis, and the narcissists’s power or authority or attribute is abruptly removed, or his/her true colours are revealed. This is usually the ideal opportunity to minister to him/her. In Nebuchadnezzar’s case God brought temporary insanity over him, but the humiliation burst the imaginary bubble of his illusions of grandeur, and brought him back to reality, also in terms of his relationship with God: “That very hour the word was fulfilled concerning Nebuchadnezzar; he was driven from men and ate grass like oxen; his body was wet with the dew of heaven till his hair had grown like eagles’ feathers and his nails like birds’ claws. And at the end of the time I, Nebuchadnezzar, lifted my eyes to heaven, and my understanding returned to me; and I blessed the Most High and praised and honored Him who lives forever: For His dominion is an everlasting dominion, and His kingdom is from generation to generation.” (Dan. 4:33-34).
The narcissist’s imagined world of power must be destroyed, and this happens when he realises that all power is instated by God and nestles only in Him. Remember what Jesus said to Pilate: “You could have no power at all … unless it had been given you from above” (John 19:11). The narcissist’s healing lies in Paul’s words in 1 Cor. 4:7 – “For who makes you differ from another? And what do you have that you did not receive? Now if you did indeed receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it?”
- Selah: Ponder Jer. 27:5-6, considering why God decided to grant power to Nebuchadnezzar.
- Read: 1:8.
- Memorise: 1:18.
- For a more in-depth understanding: Read the books mentioned in the text.
