BIBLICAL BRIEFS 15
1 Cor. 7 provides by and large advice on marriage, including, amongst other things, sexual etiquette. In this chapter, Paul gives directives regarding the New Testament principle that every man should have his own wife (in other words, not multiple women like the patriarchs had; take note, that the emphasis is placed on one man – one woman as mentioned in 1 Tim. 3: 2 & 12; 5: 9). He continues in 1 Cor. 7:3: “Let the husband render his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.” This beautiful phrase: “render his duty” emphasizes the good attitude expected of spouses towards one another, and that they should not withhold themselves sexually from each other. Men and women should, therefore, demonstrate “the goodwill due” (Thayer) towards each other and not “fail in duty”; the responsibility “accrue”; “(they are) indebted or bound to conjugal duty” (Strong).The sexual desire of your partner, and not necessarily your own, is the measure which determines whether you will have sexual intercourse, explained in verses 4 and 5. In too many marriages, one party must beg, plead, hint, or threaten, or whatsoever, or offer something in return. It is totally against God’s guideline for sexual intimacy. “The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” Respectful benevolence – this is the key to intimacy as God intended it to be. The zeal of love is, after all, the very flame of the Lord (Song of Songs 8: 6).
Dr. Tom Gouws
