BIBLICAL BRIEFS 66
The word used in Genesis to describe the unification of Man and Woman clearly indicates sexual intimacy, an inner connectedness, a deep-seated unity which is irrevocably integrated. But sexual intimacy outside of the marriage covenant also results in physical integration (1Cor. 6: 15-20). This mystery (Eph. 5:32) of the unification between man and woman is of course not mere sexual intimacy, because according to Mark. 10: 9 it is God who does this merging, and it will not only happen through a random devotion of passion, which Rom. 1:26 refers to as “degrading passions”. The formal confirmation of marriage by the government, or the religious practice in a church or during a formal ceremony does not neccesarily mean a sanctioning thereof by God. The mystery of marriage is the fact that husband and wife were already joined together in eternity, before time. On earth, they eventually they find one another and are reunited into one flesh and one spirit, “one human” (Gen. 5: 2), like it originally has been. God has devised the irrevocable unity of a specific man and a specific woman before the foundation of the earth. Not everyone you have had sex with is your husband/wife. Not necessarily the man/woman with whom you stood before the pulpit or before the magistrate and exchanged vows, is your husband/wife. From this Biblical perspective, the woman who has been taken out of the man’s side is “the wife of your youth … your companion … the wife of your covenant” (Mal. 2:14). The revealing part here is Mal. 2:15 in which God gives the historical context: “But not one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit. And what did that one do while he was seeking a godly offspring? Take heed then, to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth.” Husband and wife were created from one spirit, not separate spirits! That which directs the physical and spiritual lives of functioning as husband and wife were created from the same source, or breath, or spirit, rûach. As a result of this, it is clear how serious God is about the process of finding your husband/wife of eternity and how to wait and hold back on all levels (also in terms of sexual activity) until you have absolute confirmation from God. Considering the perversity of this world’s traditions, habits, exposures, circumstances, lack of knowledge, and personal choices, one can understand why marriage as an institution has been completely disappointing throughout the ages and ultimately cause tremendous brokenness – not just to those involved, but also to their descendants. Therefore it’s not about just co-habiting together. If two people who live together then know that they are each other’s husband or wife, why don’t they get married then? When we are really serious about any transaction, we will sign a contract to confirm our commitment and commit to the maintenance of the agreement. The OT law on this issue is very strict: “the men of her city shall stone her to death because she has committed an act of folly in Israel, by playing the harlot in her father’s house” (Deut. 22:21). The NT guideline in Heb. 13: 4 still confirms God’s requirement for a firm covenant between husband and wife: “Marriage is to be held in honour among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” Thus, 1 Cor. 7: 9 simply makes the case – “But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
Dr. Tom Gouws
